Joe “Turkey” Jones dumping Terry Bradshaw on his head
To Match Cecilio Scribe’s Top All Time- NFL names list, I’ve decided to run off some of my personal favorite sports nicknames. I won’t call it an All Time list, just some of my favorites.
Gerald “The Ice Cube” McNeil: Browns kickoff returner in the 80’s. The guy was about 5′-3.” They said that he’d melt by the time you’d caught him.
Rich “El Guapo” Garces: Relief pitcher, most notably with the Red Sox in the late nineties. Not only was he enteraining because of his appearance, but his nickname always makes me think about “The Three Amigos.” The guy had a plethora of comedic talent. What El Guapo? “Well, you just told me that I had a plethora, and I would just like to know if you know what it means to have a plethora. I would not like to think that someone would tell someone else he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.” You know how to cut me to the core, El Guapo.
The Big Unit. –That’s what she said.
Adam “Pac Man” Jones: Cornerback, Tennessee Titans. While I’m not completely sure of the “Pac Man’s” status with the Titans, with the state or with the NFL, I do enjoy his nickname. Do you think he got it because he is good at gobbling up dots while being chased by multi-colored ghosts or because he reminds people of Sean Penn’s character from “Colors?”
Joe “Turkey” Jones: Defensive end for the Cleveland Browns in the 70’s. His nickname isn’t that great, but he did throw Terry Bradshaw on his head after the whistle.
Jared Lorenzen “The Pillsberry Throw Boy”: Current New York Giants backup QB. That’s just funny.
Dickie “The Gas Can” Noles: Relief Pitcher for 6 different minor league teams. His one year with the Indians left a lasting impression. He was so bad that my friend Mitch exclaimed (in one of our many conversations covering the 30+ years of the Indians woes) “Yeah, Boston had the “Oil Can,” but in 86′ we had the “Gas Can.” Every time Dickie trotted out there there was an offensive explosion.”
Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown: Starting pitcher, mostly with the Cubbies, in the 1900’s and the 1910’s. Dude only had three fingers on his pitching hand. That’s pretty cool.
“Twinkie”: Right Defense, Erie Youth Hockey League, Mite Division, McShane Wielding Rangers. The Twinkster spent more time screening yours truly than blocking shots. Damn you, Twinkie.
Charles Barkley, “The Round Mound of Rebound.”: Power Forward, Sixers, Suns and Rockets. I cheer for fat guys. If they’re undersized fat guys, well all the better.
Jack Dempsey, “The Manassa Mauler.”: Heavyweight Boxing Champion, 1919-1923. I’ve always wanted to described as a mauler. Never had the size. It’s one thing to rough someone up or knock them out, but to maul them? That’s taking no prisoners.
Bernard Hopkins, “The Executioner.”: Middleweight and Light Heavyweight boxing champion. As much as I liked the Mauler, this is the ultimate boxing nickname isn’t it? If I find myself in a fight with a dude named “The Executioner,” I’m crapping my pants and then regrouping for plan B.
